Homily

Jesus says in today’s Gospel that we must "forgive our brothers from our hearts." And there are two words there that are not usually understood by people today in our culture who read them in the Scriptures. Let’s start with the word "heart." When we use the word "heart” to describe something about human behavior, we almost always use it to talk about emotions or feelings. For example, people will say, "My head is telling me one thing, but my heart is saying something different." If someone declares that their heart is broken, we know they are talking about very strong emotions. If you say someone is heartless, you mean that they are cruel, lacking compassion or empathy, or even normal human emotions. When people make a simple drawing of a heart on a letter or card, it always stands for "love." When we talk about the heart, we’re talking about emotions.

But heart has a very different meaning in the Bible. It appears in the Old Testament over 800 times, and that is over 800 times when we can misread what it refers to. To put it simply, in the Hebrew understanding, "heart” means the core of a person not just their feelings. It also can represent what we call personality, intellect, will, and even our relationship with God. It can be used to represent emotions, but it usually refers to thought or intellectual activity or the power of the will, which are far away from the kind of activities that we ascribe to the heart. In modern English translations we can see how translators put the Hebrew into English. In older translations, as in Proverbs 16:9, the literal Hebrew word for heart is used: "The heart of a man disposeth his way, but the Lord must direct his steps." That might make it seem to us that a man’s feelings decide how he should act, which is definitely not what the Scripture writer means to say here. So in many modern translations of this verse we will read not "heart” but "mind” in this verse: "In his mind a man plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps." It’s not an action of feelings or emotions.

This connection that we place on the heart as the bearer of emotions is usually not helpful when we read the Bible. In fact, it’s usually wrong. Since the New Testament comes from a Jewish background, so too does its use of the word "heart” to mean the core of a person; and if we do not keep that in mind, we will not get the best understanding of what the authors are trying to convey to us. For example, in today’s Gospel, Jesus says we must forgive from our hearts. He’s not saying that we need to achieve some kind of emotional peace before we can forgive others. He says we must forgive people from the core of who we are, with intention, sincerity, free will, and personal choice—-even if our emotions are against us doing this.

And this places an emphasis on what it means to forgive others. I’ve heard it said at least a million times, "I can’t forgive him, I can’t forgive her!” "Why not?” "Because I’m still so angry/upset/hurt/ disappointed, (etc.)” It’s as though forgiveness depends on our emotions, and if we are still hurting, we cannot forgive until our emotions give us permission. Absolutely wrong! We need to forgive others with an act of our will, by choosing to pardon them, by deciding to forgive them, even – EVEN - if we are still angry, or upset, or emotionally disturbed. The Catechism covers this in the section on The Lord’s Prayer, and the verse "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." The Catechism says that forgiveness is not found in our power to forget injuries, nor is it found in our emotions, but rather it is found in our hearts. Notice - not in our emotions, but in our hearts, that is, in our willing choice to forgive.

So please, please, please do not think that you can’t forgive someone because you still have hurt feelings, angry thoughts, bad memories, or negative feelings of any kind toward the person. We forgive by an act of our will, by a choice, by a rational decision to pardon someone else, even if our emotions do not support it. The healing of emotions may take time, and even a very long time, but those can be healed by the grace of God, if we continue to grow in faith, and if we ask the Lord’s help to bind up our emotional and psychological wounds. Yet we do not have to wait until that happens before we can forgive.

It’s simply not true to say "I can’t forgive,” unless you are living in a soap opera. It may be true that I will not forgive, but that is a different matter. That is also a rational choice and decision, in the same way that choosing to forgive is a decision and choice. We cannot always control our emotions, but we can always control our rational decision to forgive or not to forgive.

"Forgive your brother from your heart.” I worry about what people think when they hear this Gospel phrase, because it has the potential for great misunderstanding about both "forgive” and "from your heart." The Lord does not ask us to do something that might be impossible for us. He simply asks us, indeed commands us, to do something that is very much within our power. And, even more than that, every time that we forgive someone else, we come, at least a little bit, closer to understanding the overwhelming mercy of God for us.