Homily

It happens from time to time during a confession when the person kneeling in front of me and the Lord expresses some kind of frustration that they are still committing the same sins. And it seems to them in those moments that they aren’t making any progress at all in Christian life. But most every time if I ask them to stop and think for a minute, “Are you a better Christian today than you were a year ago, or five years ago?” Almost every time they will say, “Yes, I think I am.” The fact that they are going to confession is a sign of their desire to do more and to live better in the Lord. True, maybe their list of sins has not changed a great deal in the kinds of wrongdoing they confess, but it is often the case that they can see that these habitual weaknesses are not as strong nor as frequent as they were in the past. And on the other side of the coin, even though these same sins may still mark their lives there can be an increase in virtue at the very same time for those who are seeking to live better in Christ. This is the work of the Holy Spirit Who sanctifies us with the gift of God’s own life. It’s not automatic, of course. We need to do our part and exercise our will, our choices—to choose to desire to live as Christians, doing good, avoiding evil, loving our neighbors and praising God at all times. But if we are faithful to our prayers, the Divine Liturgy, Confession, the reading of Scripture and other good books, and faithful in our desire to serve the Lord, and one another, the Holy Spirit fuels our good intentions with the power of His loving grace, and, bit by bit, we are changed. So often it is a change we only see over time, but it is a real and authentic change.

This past year I have taken on responsibilities not just as pastor for this parish but as pastor for the whole eparchy of St. Nicholas. I was taken out of the world I knew fairly well, this parish life here, and given charge over a world I hardly knew at all. There were many times when situations would come up and I would have to make a decision about how and when to act, in situations that were not in the usual course of parish life here, nor concerning people who were well known to me. So, I found myself so often saying, “Lord, help me to do the right and best thing here.” It pushed me to put a little more trust in the Holy Spirit and a little less in my own routine of acting and making decisions. And that has been a good thing for me.

It has also helped me in another way which I want to mention because it may be helpful for you also. There have been times, and one of them is right now this month, when there seems to be 25 or 50 items of concern that have to be taken care of, or will have to be taken care of, and that come into your head in great numbers all at one time. One thing leads to another, which is attached to another, which drags in another thing and one more. The Bishop’s Enthronement later this month is what keeps coming up lately, because there are about 100 things that need to be done, kept track of, planned for and anticipated. It’s even more difficult because we are dealing with some people from Ukraine who have a different understanding of how events such as this take place here, in the U.S., not to mention the problems that are created for non-English speaking clergy. “How I taket shootle boos to hotel?” So sometimes these items come at me—what about this, and this and this and this?

On top of that there are things here involving peoples’ needs, and things that need to be done here. And these can come at me too. What about this, and this and this? And the icing on the cake is that our Ukrainian Day event is two days after the Bishop’s Enthronement and I will have to be gone that week, and I won’t be back until late that Friday night. And I have to be gone three days next week, and four days the week after that to welcome our new bishop and try to help him settle in. It can seem to be a little overwhelming.

But, in a surprising way, I find myself more and more able to put a little bit of trust in the Lord. When the situation starts to present itself to me, and I start thinking about one concern and one item after another, and when I start to feel overwhelmed by it all, I find myself more often just stopping and asking the Lord to help me deal with it, put it into His hands, and just do what I need to do right now. All those details, all the worries they can produce, all the tensions and pressures that can be felt, all the rolling around of the same facts in my head over, and over, and over—all of that can be just a huge waste of time and a huge emotional bit of turmoil. What really matters is my relationship with Christ and my relationships with those whom the Lord has given me to serve. When I focus on that truth, all these other concerns, worries and anxious thoughts fade into the background where they belong, and they can be dealt with when it’s time to deal with them.

If I believe that my primary job is to make sure all these things happen out there, and that everything turns out well, I fear that I am doomed to be nervous and afraid. But if I believe my primary job is to live in Christ and to trust in His word then everything else can and will be worked out in the name of the Lord because it won’t have to be in my name. To spend time on fears, worries and doubts never does any good at all, in fact quite the opposite. But to stop, take a breath and put yourself into the Lord’s hands, that’s the only good way to get the job done. It’s the only good way to live our lives. It will not guarantee everything will go well, it will not ensure that nothing bad will happen, but in all things, we will praise and bless the Lord. That attitude, which is still far from perfect in me, is the work of the Holy Spirit, Who has labored over 60 years just to try and get me this far. Blessed be His name, He’s not given up yet.

That same Holy Spirit will come down today upon Finnegan Joseph Lyon along with the Father and the Son our Lord Jesus Christ. May he, with us, embrace the gift of God’s own life every day until we are called home.