Homily

It was a very exciting week for me in Chicago. Early Wednesday morning I woke up about 12:30 with terrible stabbing pains in my chest. And, naturally, you hope it is just some passing abnormality that will go away in a little bit. I asked the Lord to remove the pain. But 45 minutes later when the pain increases you finally give in to reality. This might be connected to a heart attack and you need to go the hospital. I told the bishop the next day that the only reason I went to the hospital was because if I died in the chancery people would say, “Bishop killed him.” He appreciated my loyalty.

I called Uber for the short trip to St. Mary’s Hospital Emergency unit. They were not very busy, so I was attended to right away. They started the tests, drawing blood, EKG, chest x-ray. After some time, the doctor came in and said my EKG showed my heart was perfectly normal. So, then I am thinking, “it might be lung cancer and the tumor is what is causing this pain.” Sometime later the doctor returns and says the radiologist believes it is pneumonia in my upper right lung. Now that was a true surprise because I have had pneumonia a couple of times in the past, but never with stabbing pains like this. After three more hours and another EKG they turned me loose with a prescription.

It’s been pretty painful since then. I can’t lie flat because it puts pressure on the lung. If I move in certain ways, the stabbing pain hits me. It hurts to cough. And what I never realized before is that just before you cough, you draw in a quick breath, and that also hurts. So, it hurts to take in the breath and it hurts to do the coughing! So, I tried to minimize the coughing. My recent nights have been back and forth between sleep and coughing fits.

So, there are a couple of reasons I am telling you all this. One is so that I don’t have to repeat the story. Second, although I am not trying to gain your sympathy, if you want to offer it I will take it. And thirdly, there is a spiritual component to all of this.

When I first felt the pains, I asked the Lord to take them away. When that didn’t happen I still found myself to be extremely calm, even in pain. I didn’t panic, and I wasn’t afraid that it might even end up in a fatal heart attack or perhaps it was lung cancer. I knew those were possibilities, but I wasn’t afraid. Throughout the whole time I felt the Lord was with me and that was all that I truly needed. Am I very sick? Will I live? Will there be chemotherapy? These questions didn’t bother me, for I truly felt that no mattered what happened, the Lord was with me, even though I seemed to be all alone in Emergency Room 20 at St. Mary’s. I spent part of the time praying for people in the other nearby rooms, knowing they might have more serious problems than I did.

Ten years ago, I am not so sure I would have been this peaceful, but thanks to the grace of God Who has been trying to work on me, it did happen this past week. I realized the Lord was with me and I put my total trust in Him as an anchor and foundation for my life. Not in my health, not my future, not my test results, not in other people, and certainly not in my own ability to do anything at all about my situation. I had 246 wires hanging off my chest. I was extraordinarily calm in my connection with Christ. He was the source and foundation of my life. It kind of surprises me to think that when potential life-threatening danger came to me, I could be so faithful and trusting.

But the more I think about, maybe it is easier to trust in Christ at those times, when you are totally helpless and unable to control events. It’s in the normal course of regular days when it is much more difficult to live and operate out of profound faith in the Lord. “Can’t fix chest pains—Jesus I trust in you completely!” “Regular Normal Day—I have some trust in the Lord, but I’ve got things to take care of.”

So often it is more difficult to truly live, and think and breathe based on my faith in Christ, because I am convinced that my own life, and my thoughts and work should be based on what I think will be best for me and for others. Instead of seeking His will, I follow my own desires and plans. Instead of trusting in His providence I try to make sure that my plans will succeed. Instead of seeking His mercy and support first, I am always looking for people and things to prop up my own life, in ways that seem best to me. Of course, THAT doesn’t always happen, and then comes the frustration.

It can be in the “normal days” of our lives when our faith in Christ is not so normal for us, but often laid aside in order to pursue the desires of our own hearts. It seems easier to live according to our own desires rather than to rest ourselves on the foundation of Jesus. And all kinds of troubles come from that.

In today’s Gospel, the themes of thankfulness and gratitude, or ingratitude are easy to talk about. But I think for Luke, there is even a deeper meaning here. The Samaritan could have thanked God anywhere, and I don’t think Jesus was waiting to be thanked. It wasn’t just about being a leper or being freed from that disease. The Samaritan came back to be with Jesus. To be with Jesus. And I think that is a crucial part of this story. He came back into the presence of the Lord. And what does Jesus say? Not “your gratitude has saved you.” No, He says, “Your faith has saved you.”

In the same way I hope we all can continue in this pre-Christmas season to struggle to be in the presence of the Lord in our normal days. He is perfect peace, the source of wisdom, the power for our spirits, the source of forgiveness, the one who loves us above all others, and the giver of everlasting life. Why should we not base our regular daily lives on Him and His grace?