Homily

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that many people, maybe even the majority of people, don’t really see themselves as sinners in need of repentance and forgiveness. I’m not so sure why that is, exactly. Sometimes it might be from ignorance, or from pride, or lack of self-examination, or embarrassment, or fear, or some combination of these. So many people don’t see themselves as sinners, but rather as good people. We are all good people, aren’t we?

So, I wondered what would happened if a good person, who does not really believe he/she deserves the title of “sinner”, would be willing to undergo an experiment. Let’s say we would have that good person come here and like some kind of reality TV show, we could actually see, on a huge screen, every single action they did during the past year, whether with other people or alone, by themselves. What if it could all be watched here on a screen? And not only the actions of that good person but also their thoughts. Not the thoughts that just pop into his or her head, because we have no control over that, but the thoughts he/she actively chose to think by his/her own free will. What if we could hear all of that person’s thoughts from the past year? What would be the result? Would I be willing to have that done? Would you be willing to have all your thoughts and actions, both the good and the bad, put up here on display for everyone to see? What grade do we think people would give us? Surely, we would get an “A” with no problems, right? Or maybe a “B+” …but certainly not a “C” …right? Would other people think we were sinners?

When someone says, or someone believes that they are a “good person”, or a “basically good person” (and I like that word, “basically”, because it conveys the idea that I may do some evil but it’s not enough to count) when people say they are good, what is the standard they use to judge themselves? Usually it is comparing themselves to people who are more evil than they are. Since I am not that bad, I must be good. “I didn’t kill anyone, or rob a bank, so start painting my icon and I’ll wave to you from heaven!” It’s as though because other people do worse things the lesser sins I have committed don’t really count. Evil is over there, not inside here. It’s like a man who kills his neighbor but rejects the idea that he is a murderer. “I only killed one man. Stalin and Pol Pot…now those guys were murderers.”

We should never reject the label of “sinner.” First of all, because it is true. Shortly after the “Our Father” at Liturgy, before I pick up the Holy Eucharist from the discos on the altar, at every Liturgy I must bow three times and each time I say, “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.” And there’s good reason for that.

It’s not just because it’s true, but it’s also because I am in need of Jesus Christ. I need Him to pardon my sins, because even though I am tempted to think I am just a good person, I cannot pardon them myself. Only He can grant forgiveness. That’s why I don’t pick up the Body of Christ and say, “I’m a good person, I’m a good person, I’m a good person.” No. I am a sinner in need of mercy.

That’s what a season of repentance is all about. It’s about seeing the reality of my sins, which I can often ignore so easily and forget with such ease, and how those sins wound my life and the lives of other people, and truly seeing them, yet not so that I may condemn myself, but instead to ask for the healing mercy of Christ our Lord; to ask Him to fill every hole I have put into my life, and fill it with grace. I come to Jesus not because I am a good person, but because He alone can save me, and save me even from myself. His love covers the great defects in my own love, and His love is the healing power that brings me more deeply into His divine life—as much as I will allow Him to do so.

If we come to Jesus, like the lawyers, scribes and Pharisees, if we come to Him in our own righteousness and goodness, we will not clearly see Him, we will not understand what He is saying to us just as they could not see Him or understand Him. But if we come as people who desire to be good and to be holy, and if we hold out our sins to Him for His mercy, then, as genuine sinners, we are on the right road where He will save us. Through the prayers of the most holy Mother of God, this Lent, let us ask Jesus to save us.