Homily

There are three natural questions that the Samaritan does not ask the man when he comes upon him lying in the roadside. What are the three questions he does not ask? (See how I try to get you to think about this parable?) Who are you? What happened? Who did this to you? Now these questions are not in the parable because they are not relevant to the point Jesus is trying to make, so they are left out, but in real life they would be very important, wouldn’t they?

Let me just stick with the last question: Who did this to you? Who is responsible? Who caused this to happen? On a fairly regular basis other people do things to us that we do not like. They treat us badly by what they do that they should not be doing, or they treat us badly by not doing what they should be doing. Other people offend us or hurt us, and we feel the sting. It’s rarely as bad as the treatment the poor robbery victim received in today’s Gospel, but we get hurt, nonetheless. And most of the time we know who it is that has caused us harm, even if we don’t know their name: the guy who cuts us off in traffic, the person who whacks you in the head with their backpack as they are getting on a plane because they have no idea of their personal space. Then there are the people who offend us that we do know, and most of these people fall into the category of “family,” but they can also be co-workers and friends. It can be an offense as small as a simple comment we don’t like, to a direct criticism to an all-out verbal assault. It can be because of their action or lack of action, but we feel the hurt, whether it’s small or large. We see ourselves as the victim, and most all the time (not all the time, but most all of the time) we feel unjustly attacked or at least treated badly. You did this to me.

Over the years I have come to realize how much time we can waste thinking about those who have offended us. Many, many years ago I was flying back to Ohio and United Airlines had recently started a new service option. If you paid some extra money you would get a seat with more room between you and the row in front of you. At that time, they called it “Premier Seating.” When the time came to get on the plane they called for the people with Premier status. When I handed my ticket to the woman at the gate she gruffly said, “This isn’t Premier. You can’t get on the plane now.” So, I pointed to the ticket and it plainly said “Premier Seating” on it. “Oh, that’s not Premier, that’s just about your seat. You just bought that this morning. You need to stand over there and I’ll tell you when you can get on. Go over there and wait.” Apparently the “Premier” people she wanted to see were those with special status with United Airlines. The poor man in line behind me got the same treatment for the same reason. She waved to us when it was time, and I told her, “Sorry about that, but I only came up because it says ‘Premier’ on my ticket.” She sneered at me and then cocked her head aside, “Oh yeah, yeah, right.” I got on the plane and took that woman with me for at least the next hour. She was so rude, so loud, so willing to humiliate me that I just couldn’t get her out of my head in my anger, and I replayed her words over and over again. If there was one person in the world I would not want to have traveled with it was that woman, but she flew with me for a long time that day, and I didn’t even try to stop her, although she didn’t have a ticket. I gave her a free pass to sit with me.

Now that’s one of those things that doesn’t happen every day, but I think it makes my point. When people offend or hurt us, it can become very easy for us to dwell on that hurt or offense, to think about it over and over again, to think about the person who offended us and maybe even how we will pay them back, and even if we don’t seek revenge ourselves we contemplate the punishment they ought to receive for what they have done to us. We let our anger and frustration boil up to one degree or another, and we lose our peace, and often we end up in sin, one way or another.

To what end? Too what purpose? Why do I want to keep thinking about this hurt and reliving it over and over again? And so many times what may have been only a misdemeanor offense has now become, in my thoughts “Grand Theft Auto” or even “Murder in the first degree.” No good comes from repeated attempts to convict the guilty party in the courtroom in my head. Nothing positive or helpful results from my going over the crime again and again. I simply increase my anger and frustration and leave myself more prepared to sin against others as they have sinned against me. And it’s all a huge, painful and dangerous waste of time.

Yes, it’s true that we can have strong emotional reactions toward other people when they hurt us. We can’t control our initial reactions many times. But what about the time AFTER that first emotional response? We can work on that. It may be difficult, even VERY difficult to give up our bad feelings towards the other person but by hanging on to them we only punish ourselves. It may take many attempts sometimes to let our wounded feelings go, but it is truly worth all the effort we put into doing that. And finally, and most effectively, pray for those who have wronged you. If you want to see the power of prayer at work, pray for those who have harmed you and see how bad emotions can be rinsed away by God’s grace.

We don’t know what the poor man thought about his attackers after they beat and robbed him. After all, it’s only a story. But how we deal with those who attack and offend us—those are opportunities for us to find peace through our will and by God’s grace. We may not always have 100% success, but may it never be because we haven’t tried to find it.