Homily

Embarrassment is described as the emotional state that is associated with moderate to high levels of discomfort, due to some kind of socially unacceptable or frowned upon action or condition that is seen by or known by other people. Feeling some level of shame because other people see something about us, or know something about us, we wish they did not. A few people have tried to categorize the things that cause us to be embarrassed, and one man decided on four categories.

(1) Socially awkward acts. When I was in Ukraine, I stayed a few days at the Patriarch’s house in Kyiv. He wasn’t home until the end of my stay, and his secretary, Fr. Oleh, was my host. We sat down to breakfast and a large bowl of oatmeal was set before me. Father didn’t have any, and I figured he was not a fan of oatmeal. It was a very large portion, but I got to business and finished the bowl. There were other breakfast foods also. The same thing happened next morning. On the 3rd morning another priest joined us. He picked up the big bowl of oatmeal, took some and handed it over to Fr. Oleh. I am sure my face was borscht beet red.

(2) Accidents. Accidents can bring on embarrassment. I took the Sisters out to dinner once and the waiter brought us bread and a plate of olive oil for dipping that bread. Sister Mary Magdalen, as you remember, had very bad eyesight. Suddenly she asks, “What is this?” and picks up the plate and the oil runs all over the table. She was not embarrassed, she was very calm and apologized, and took it in stride because it was just an accident. God bless her. I would have been so embarrassed. An accident.

(3) Mistakes. You call someone by the wrong name. You think the clerk at the counter gave you the wrong change, twice, because your mental mathematic processor is not working well that day.

(4) Failures in morality. Failures in morality can cause embarrassment. For example, someone catches you telling a lie. Now the first three categories usually have nothing to do with the moral or spiritual in a significant way. But I would like to rename number 4, “Failures in Morality,” and instead call it “Failures in Christian Living.” It is true that we may be caught sinning sometimes by others, such as telling a lie, or grandma hears me swearing in the car. But there are also many times when the moral failure is in trying NOT to be embarrassed. Taking part in raunchy joke-telling, or in conversations that tear down another person’s character, because you want to be part of the group, or you don’t want them to think I have a different set of values than they do. Never mentioning anything about my faith or the spiritual life with other people, even when there is a perfect opportunity to do so, because I’m afraid it won’t be acceptable. Listening to other people speak about their moral opinions but being afraid to speak of Christian values that go against what many people believe today. Fear of embarrassment can lead to hiding my faith.

Many, many years ago, when airlines still fed you on longer flights, I prayed before I ate but didn’t make the sign of the cross while doing so. I always did so in restaurants, but on a plane you are so close to other people, I was afraid I would be embarrassed to make such a public display of faith right under the noses of other people. Then, one day, across the aisle, I saw two kindly-looking middle-aged women, who were obviously traveling together, make the sign of the cross in unison, quietly pray, and then cross themselves again before they ate. I was very impressed, in fact inspired, by their small public act of faith, and ashamed at my own stupid fear of embarrassment. Imagine that—being afraid of the disapproval of complete strangers for a simple act of faith. Those two ladies had a big impact on me and my behavior through their own simple act of faith, carried out with no sense of embarrassment.

Almost all of my embarrassments are due to what other people might think about me. But shouldn’t I be embarrassed more often because of what the Lord sees me doing?

And today I think of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is eager enjoyment or interest in something or someone. Yes, there are times when I am pretty enthusiastic for the Lord and the life He has given me—at Easter, Christmas, some of the other feastdays, at Liturgy and at other times and situations in life. I have that enthusiasm. But if I make a list of all the things I eagerly enjoy or have an interest in, it is a sad comparison to see how much is oriented toward the Lord, and how much toward making my own life comfortable, pleasant, and enjoyable. Eager for the Internet or eager for prayer? Eager for the news or for the Good News? Eager for entertainment or for worship? Eager for serving others or for being served? Eager for the things of this world or for the Kingdom of God? Eager to think I am totally capable of finding my own path to love, and that I have plenty of time left to achieve that goal? What I am eager for is what I value. Where your treasure is, there your heart will also be. Am I as eager for Christ as I should be?

Embarrassment—Zacchaeus was already socially looked down upon as a tax-collector, in a society where public opinion and social standing were much more important than in our culture. Climbing up a tree would have made him the butt of jokes among his neighbors. But he didn’t care about embarrassment. He cared about Jesus. Enthusiasm—It’s obvious he climbed that tree in his enthusiasm just to see Christ, and when Jesus speaks to him Zacchaeus’ enthusiastic answer reveals that he values what Jesus is teaching, and even more, he values Jesus Himself. There is for him no embarrassment possible when he meets the Lord, no enthusiasm more important than bringing Him into his home as a most honored guest. May salvation come to our homes just as it did to his.