Homily

The other day I was thinking about how very generous some people are, and, by contrast, how very ungenerous I am. There have been many times in the past when I have observed other people being very giving, very kind, very generous and I have been stung by their goodness, because I realize I am not that benevolent, I am not that thoughtful or that giving. Granted, not as bad as the rich man in today’s gospel, but still, I feel the weakness of what I lack in charity. Of course, my lack of generosity is not my only weakness but it’s a good example to use, because I think all of us, who are trying to live Christian lives, find areas in our thoughts and behaviors that we do not like: attitudes, weakness in action, sinful deeds, acts of omission where we could do some good, but we do not. Weaknesses and sins that maybe haunt us, especially when we go to confession and we dread to think that we are confessing the same sins over and over again, and it may seem that we are making very little progress in our spiritual lives.

When we are stung by our weaknesses and our sins, especially our habitual sins, the things we do over and over again, there are several ways to react. One way to react is to simply be sad or disturbed by our weakness or sin for a bit, and then just drop it, or try to forget about it until the next time that it appears, when we will once again be hurt by it, and once again we will simply try to forget it. This is, of course, one reason why people neglect confession. It is a reminder of our failings that is not welcome or happy and it seems easier to ignore them rather than to deal with them and unload our burden. So we continue to carry that burden and it doesn’t strike us as a problem because we have gotten used to carrying it, just like the Rich Man in today’s gospel. It seems like the easier way to live. But in doing this, we are still weighed down by sin and we miss the grace that the sacrament of confession can give us in helping us to live better lives.

Another way to react to the recognition of our sins and weaknesses is to beat ourselves up over them, perhaps even to loathe ourselves and accuse ourselves in serious ways and then, having properly beaten ourselves up, we continue on. It’s almost as if we believe that if we emotionally punish ourselves then we have done our duty and made things right. But in truth, to me, this is just self-damage without any positive results. It might seem noble to us because we have punished ourselves mentally and emotionally, but even though this may seem righteous in our eyes, I think this way of dealing with sin is simply harmful and after our initial recognition that we have done wrong, nothing really good comes from it. I think we end up even worse. Then we can always be tempted to say, “What’s the use? I will only fail again and then go through this misery again.” We risk giving up on virtue. When we try to teach our children to do the right thing, they often fail, again and again. Should we give up trying to help them? Even so, should we ever give up on ourselves?

I think there is a better way. When we become aware of a sin or weakness in a particular way, it is, of course, a good thing to recognize this. And it is, of course, something we should regret and be sad about, sorry about, because it is a sign that we are not living up to the holiness that Christ has called us to live in. We should ask for the Lord’s forgiveness right then and there, and if there is another person we have offended we should ask their pardon also.

After that, we should make a resolution to try our best not to do it again, or if it is something we have neglected to do, make a resolution that we will try and do better in the future. Next, we should ask the Lord to help us fulfill our good desire, because on our own we may not do very well but powered by grace we can always continue to improve in life.

It’s true that we can grow tired of committing the same sins over and over again, or that we don’t seem to have moved much further along in our Christian life. We would like to think we are better than that, but we fear that we are not. I believe that when we simply try to forget our sins, or when we try to punish ourselves because of them, we are acting as though it’s all about us. “I will fix this by forgetting and ignoring, or, I will fix this by my self-punishment.” Both ways of dealing are wrong. Where is the Lord in all of that? Where is the power of grace in all of that? Where is the genuine repentance in that?

It’s good to recognize our sin, but to try and forget it, or to agonize over it and continue to think about it are very bad plans. We have done wrong, or we did not do what we should have. Then let us sincerely regret that action or that lack of action. Let us ask for forgiveness. Let us beg the Lord to help us in the future, and then let us be in peace. It still can be a very good thing to recall our sin or weakness when we pray, not to wallow in past failures, but only to ask the Lord’s grace to keep us from it in the future, so that we may continue to grow in holiness. And then we need to trust that it can happen. I know that we may often feel that we haven’t made any progress in our Christian life, when it comes to sinful behaviors, and I guarantee you that the devil loves it when we think this way. But we are not always the best judge of our own progress, and, even unintentionally, this kind of thinking can imply that the Lord really can’t help me, because here I am doing it again.

We should never, ever allow this kind of thinking to stay in our heads. I have often heard sincere people complain that they are no better because they keep doing this wrong thing or that wrong thing, and yet so many times they do not see the improvements in their lives and in their general behavior that I see, or even the improvements in this particular area of sin. It may be that we will continue to struggle with some sins or weaknesses all our lives, but if we place ourselves in Christ’s hands and sincerely ask for His help, we will always be making progress, even if it does not always seem like it in this area or that.

The Lord does not call us to frustration, or to try and constantly be fixing ourselves without His help. These struggles in certain areas of our lives may become sources of grace for other areas in our lives. I suspect I may never be the most generous person I know, but I need to continue to ask the Lord to help me, and I believe that if I strive to do better, His grace will indeed move me closer to Him, even if I still struggle to be generous. Same thing for all our weaknesses and sins. Forgetting and ignoring; continuing to remember sin and self-punishment for sin—these are very bad ways to live as Christians. But recognition, repentance, an intention to do better and asking the Lord to pardon and help us in our good desire, these are powerful ways to deal with sin and weakness. And let’s not forget the sacrament of confession. It’s a powerful help to our lives that so many neglect so terribly today. If we are looking to be forgiven, and looking to improve our life in Christ, regular confession is a wonderfully dynamic aid to accomplishing those things.