Homily

It just so happened that yesterday I was reminded of something that happened a few years ago while I was sitting on the tractor picking up leaves. I was thinking about some of my problems and troubles, and about some of your problems and troubles, and about some parish problems and troubles. It’s easy enough to do when you are working on a job that doesn’t require much thought, and we all know that there always seem to be enough problems and troubles in life to spend some time on, even during the week when we probably gave some extra thanks to God for all that we have, and we have a lot. But that doesn’t mean there still are not any problems and troubles.

I didn’t have some kind of dark night of the soul as I was picking up leaves that day. It was just the usual kind of thinking about some problems and troubles that can often happen when we are not engaged with other people. Maybe while we’re in the shower, or folding clothes, or driving somewhere, or picking up leaves. Thoughts come into your head about people and situations that are worrisome. They may be new thoughts about new and recent events; they may be thoughts about things that have been going on for a while; they may even provoke thoughts of things that took place in the distant past, reminders that perhaps such bad things could happen again.

But problems and troubles always point to the future as well. While they may exist right now and here today, we wonder and maybe we even fear, how they will end up in the future. Will they be solved? Will things get better? Or will they get worse? And what will that mean for me? Just as an example, the New York Times writes today, “A new coronavirus variant has the world on edge: Omicron.” How much of your worry-time are you willing to give to that? And what will be the result?

Back to me on the tractor a few years ago: I had a very strong realization, no doubt prompted by the Lord, that I was being pretty self-centered at that time, as I considered problems and troubles, because the bottom line seemed to be “and what will that mean for me?” What will I have to do, what will I have to put up with, what discomfort will there be for me, or what sadness, or what blame will I have to bear for what I did or what I did not do, and what might be the potential for pain and disappointment from these problems and troubles I am rolling around inside my head? And doesn’t this happen to us on a fairly regular basis? We can care about the people we are thinking about, and even love them deeply, people who are in trouble or difficulty in some way. We can appreciate the problems life may be handing us and we can sincerely look for solutions to solve them. But, as it often happens, the real true and critical point will be—how does this affect me? Sitting on that tractor I realized that even though I do care for the people and problems that were rolling around in my head, from one thing to another, it is equally true that a great deal of my concern was also about how these would affect me. And perhaps the reason I kept allowing them to roll around in my head was because I was hoping to find ways in which they would not negatively affect me. Maybe if I just worry enough, I will find answers.

Now certainly it’s true that when problems come our way it is a good and rightful time to see if we can solve them to have a good result. It is also true that there certainly are times when we need to think about troubles that come our way or that are causing difficulties for other people, as well as the problems that are in our own lives. We need to think about them to some degree. But there are times when we think of them, again and again, not because we are trying to solve a problem, and not because we are simply thinking about the troubles in our lives or in the lives of other people, but because we are thinking, most of all, about what bad result will come to me because of this or that, if this thing or that thing should happen. I think it’s about being self-centered and not in a good way.

Isn’t it strange that sometimes we get angry with people not for what they have actually done, but for what they might do in the future? How many times have we worried and fretted about bad things that might happen in the future, and then they never did happen, or they were never nearly as bad as we thought they might be. And how many times do we remember that?

So, on that particular day I had a strong realization of how many times I allow problems and troubles to roll around in my thoughts not for any good reason, not for any good purpose, not for any clarity, not for any positive outcome, but only out of fear, worry, anxiety or frustration about what bad result might come to me because of those things. The Lord poked me: “Wouldn’t it be better to pray for, and pray about, these things instead of uselessly thinking about them again and again? What good is that for you or anyone else? Do the best you can do and trust in me because you cannot control your life in this world. You can only control yourself. So control yourself, put your energy in doing the good that you can do, fixing the problems you can fix, and for all the rest, put it in prayer and leave it to me.”

Bishop Benedict one time said to me, “There are always problems. There will always be problems.” A simple truth, but we often live as though there should never be problems. We worry about others because we care for them, but then we start to get into trouble worrying about ourselves. So let’s work on controlling our useless worrying and put our energy into doing the good we can do, solving the problems we can solve, and putting all the rest not in constant repetition in our thoughts and our emotions, but let’s leave the rest to God in prayer. The future is His, not ours. And that’s a very good thing.