Homily

I was watching a TV program the other day, it’s an 8-part series, and the 16-year-old boy caught my interest. He was extremely self-centered, arguing with his parents all the time, insulting, prideful, and it seemed he was completely ungrateful for all that his parents had done and were trying to do for him. He spoke to them so disrespectfully, in ways I could never have imagined speaking to my own parents, and he treated them in ways I could never have copied when I was his age. The parents didn’t like it, but they almost never disciplined the boy and even when they did try to do so, he refused to obey. They seemed, pretty much, just to accept whatever behavior he gave them, and it was rarely on the good side. They disrespected their son by not teaching him to give proper respect to them, and thus made it easier for him to abuse others outside the family.

Something just clicked. And I thought about so many programs, movies, and other media presentations over the past years where this kind of attitude of children towards their parents and parents toward their children has been shown over and over again as though it should simply be accepted as part of normal life. We all know that the teen years are difficult years for all involved, both children and parents. Emotions can easily erupt. But when I see such a startling lack of respect and the prideful abusive, completely ungrateful attitudes of these on-screen teens towards their moms and dads, and then the submissive reactions of their parents, it shocks me. It still does.

But this is just one type of disrespect that we can see in our life today. It’s true that there have always been self-centered and abusive people in every age and in every culture. I’m not saying this is something new. Yet it seems to me that these are attitudes that are becoming more and more acceptable to more and more people, unless, of course, you are the person the disrespect is aimed at. Then you can be outraged.

The other day a 29-year-old professional soccer coach was on a flight from Dublin to New York. He complained loudly about the food, threw a soda can at another passenger, exposed his backside in the aisle, and when the captain came out to talk with him, he kept putting his hat on the captain’s head and taking it off again. He held his fist up to the captain’s face and said, “Don’t touch me.” And this also reminds me of the kind of truly foul language you can regularly hear people using today on planes or when sitting near you in airports, without any regard for those people who may have to listen to it, including children.

As yesterday was the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion it’s proper to talk about respect for life. Yet, many times the words “respect for life” are only used when talking about life and death issues such as abortion or euthanasia. And these are, of course, the most important and vital areas where human life needs to be respected. But I sometimes think that term “respect for life” sounds too impersonal. I wonder if it would not be better to say “respect for the lives of other people” because it is not life in the abstract that we respect, but rather we are called to respect the human life of every other person in this world.

We are not commanded to respect the human life of other people only if it is a matter of life or death, as important as that is. We are called to respect the lives of other people because they are made in the image and likeness of God, just as we are. It is our duty to show them proper respect on that basis. That does not mean we have to accept any kind behavior other people might be practicing. Of course not. Respect does not mean that we excuse sinful, wrong, or dangerous behavior. But even so, we cannot deny respect for them as human persons, even when they are deadly wrong.

I think the growing lack of respect we see among people today for one another, in so many areas of life, is certainly tied into the lack of respect for human life that we also see in most serious matters touching on life and death. If I do not acknowledge the value of your human life in the most important situations, why should I value it in matters that are less important? And at the same time if I do not treat you with basic respect in the smaller things it can easily lead me to disrespecting you in the greater things as well.

Jesus’ blunt statement to the Canaanite woman may seem insulting, and they are harsh words, but Jesus surely has no intention of insulting this woman. Insults are meant to demean the other person. Jesus can surely speak harsh words to those who need to hear them. But here, using the language of parables, He tells her that His mission is first to the Jews, the children of the covenant. Indeed, I think He is giving her an opening to see how she will respond, and that Gentile woman responds with the greatest of faith and respect for the Lord. The Lord returns that respect to her, and He heals her daughter. I want to remind you that the Lord also respects your free will and your free choice to accept Him or reject Him.

If He Who is our Lord and God respects our life so much that He was willing to give up His own life, how much should we respect Him in return? And if He has such a great respect for the lives of every human person, should we not also respect their lives, at the beginning, at the end, and every point in between? This respect must begin in the home and also in the church, and then it should spread out into the world. During this Liturgy I bow in respect of you, and you in respect of me, and we all bow to Christ our Lord. May He show us always how to properly respect our neighbors in this world and give us the grace we need to do so as His followers.