Homily

Are you a good person? Seems like an easy question to answer, no? How long did it take you to come up with an answer? I mean here we all are in church today. Isn’t that a sign that we are good people? And yet, as we read in Mark’s Gospel in Bible study recently, when the rich man called Jesus “Good teacher” Jesus replied, “No one is good except God alone.” So are we good people? In an example I have used in the past, if we fill Autzen stadium with people and ask them to raise their hands if they are good people, how many do you think would not raise their hands?

Even so, let us say that we are all, to some degree, good people, my next question is, “How good do we want to be? How good do you want to be?” Probably that’s not so easy to answer. When I think about it, honestly, I probably would have to say that I want to be good enough. Good enough that I don’t think I am a bad person and hopefully you won’t either. Good enough that I can live without feelings of shame or knowledge of my sinfulness, at least most of the time. Good enough that I have not ended up in jail (at least so far.) Good enough that I can do good for others sometimes. But when I stop and seriously consider it, it seems that I don’t really want to be as good as I can possibly be. I’m willing to settle, most of the time, for being “good enough.”

Because I don’t find myself consistently trying to grow in virtue, or excellence, or holiness or a life that is thoroughly saturated with faith. There are times when I do seek those things and make a conscious effort to gain them, but those thoughts don’t come very often, and my desire then usually fades after some time. What are the reasons for that? There is a cost to being as good as good can be, and that cost means completely surrendering yourself to God. In theory that sounds like a great thing to do, because why wouldn’t you not want your life to be completely in God’s hands? But in practice, in actual life, that would mean having complete and absolute trust in God, and that is very hard. It’s so much easier to believe that if I keep control, things will turn out better. Now I realize that this is a stupid way to think, “Should I be in charge of my life, or should God be in charge?” That’s a weakness. I want God to be in charge as long as it goes my way. That is not an attitude of faith.

Another reason I will choose not to put myself in God’s hands is that you never know what God might ask you to do, and it might be something hard, difficult, unpleasant, painful, something you really don’t like doing. What if God asks me to be generous here, holier, more self-sacrificing, more prayerful, more loving, more courageous. Doesn’t that sound hard, and wouldn’t it take a good amount of effort and dedication? That doesn’t sound like a very comfortable lifestyle. What’s wrong with “good enough?” It’s still good, isn’t it?

I believe another reason that I don’t think I can be as good as I can be is that I am just not built for it. I’ll never play in the NBA, I will never be the smartest man in Springfield (although, I admit, I am the best priest on Aspen St.) So, of course, I dismiss the idea that I could ever be a saint, so why even try? Besides, people might think I am a religious fanatic.

But today’s Gospel reading gets me thinking.

There were only five loaves of bread and two fish. That’s all the apostles had. Five loaves and two fish to feed well over 5,000 people. Jesus took the little bit of good that the apostles had, and He allowed them to feed the multitude and they did so in Mark’s and Matthew’s Gospels without question. He taught them, He formed them, He encouraged them to live up for something much better than “good enough,” The apostles were not especially built for greatness. The scriptures show us their weaknesses and failings and lack of faith even though they followed Jesus for three years. But still, they did not choose to continually stay stuck in their weaknesses. Instead, they stuck to the Lord, and they were truly changed over time so that they ended up being as good as they could be, even willing to give up their lives in witness to the truth of Christ our Lord.

So there is still hope for me and still hope for you, to continue to strive to be truly good, instead of good enough. Like the apostles if we stick to the Lord and continue to turn our lives over to His loving care, His life-giving words and His overwhelming love for us, we can keep moving toward being as good as we can be. The Lord did a whole lot with five loaves and two fish. He did a lot with a bunch of ordinary men who followed Him. If He can do so much with so little, surely there is hope for me too, if I stick with Him, despite my many failings. Good enough is never really good enough.