Last week I spoke about the problem of not wanting to be truly good, as good as we can be, but instead settling for being simply good enough. But if I want to be better than just good enough, how do I go about doing it? How do I come to become better and better as a Christian? Should I be looking for some big, dramatic conversion experience that will profoundly change my life as a Christian and push me into sainthood? Well, if that should happen, I'm sure it would be helpful, as it did help many saints throughout history. But it didn't happen for most saints, so I don't think we should expect it will happen for us.
So how do I become a better Christian? How do I become a better follower of Christ, especially if I don't have some big conversion experience? I suggest that we work at it. I suggest we make a conscious effort to continually become better Christians, better sons and daughters of God our Father, better disciples of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Consciously work at it. We all do some working on our faith life from time to time and so we are doing that right now, but it may be we're not very consistent or regular in working on our faith—maybe during Lent or here or there but not exercising our faith on a regular basis with intention. I remember a video where two men were talking about their faith. The one man said, "I was raised Episcopalian, and we only thought about God for one hour a week on Sunday. But you—it seems you think about God all the time." It can be very easy to fall into a state where our faith life is kind of like belonging to a social club like the Elks or the Moose. You attend the weekly meeting, and for the most part you have done your duty.
But we're not members of a club, we're followers of Christ. Our goal should never be simply about going to church and following rules, but rather it should be about following Him, listening to Him, loving Him, seeking to draw closer to Him. Our faith is about a relationship with the Risen Lord, the Lover of Mankind. And then it's also about our relationships with one another in the body of Christ, and even about those outside of the Church. Our relationship to Christ. For so many people one of the biggest and the most important relationships they have is with their spouse. But what I have learned over 40 years as a priest is that very few people regularly, intentionally work on that relationship. Good parents will work in a regular way on their parenting, on how and what they need to do for the benefit of their children's well-being, but they may not work so much on what they need to do for the benefit of their spouse, for the good of their marriage. Married people can spend more time thinking about how not to make their spouse angry than they do thinking about how to better make their spouse feel loved. This most important earthly relationship is, I think, often taken for granted. "After all, we're married—why should I be expected to put a daily effort into becoming better married?" I can only wonder what would happen to the divorce rate if married people truly worked at their marriages every day, by their intentions, not by luck, or chance, or circumstances.
So too with our lives in Christ, what would happen if we simply paid attention every day to our relationship with Christ? What if every day I worked at becoming a better disciple, by my intention? No athlete expects to win a game simply because he or she shows up for competition. No person expects a promotion because they are not the worst employee. Nobody should expect they'll end up a doctor simply because they were accepted at a medical school. Being a good Christian should mean like being a good wife, a good father, a good athlete, I am willing to put in the time, the energy, the effort to better myself as a disciple. And not just from time to time, but on a regular, even a daily basis; I should intentionally be working on living as a Christian.
Probably we will not have some great spiritual experience that will push us into a deeper faith. Instead it is a work we must intentionally choose to do, as we choose to direct our lives on the path of the Gospel. It may not be dramatic, but it should be a regular desire and goal practiced in concrete ways. Do I need to pay more attention to my prayers? The solution is not to become a cloistered nun. (Okay, it may be a solution for some.) The answer is likely what can I reasonably do to increase or improve my prayer time? Even if it is in small ways, that's okay if it means I will be able to do it. Do I need to have more patience with the kids? It's a great goal in general, but unlikely to happen unless it becomes something I work at every day. It might be better if I work on being patient with this child, and to break it down even more, to be patient with this child, especially later in the day when I am tired. That's a goal that is a bit more practical than patience in general, and to ask the Lord's help every day in becoming more patient is a way to grow in faith. Maybe I find myself having a problem with anger. Working on anger in general probably won't help. But narrowing it down, let's say if I often get angry while driving, then I will choose to work on that. If I ask the Lord's help every time that I get behind the wheel, and make it a daily intentional habit, it will not take a long time to see some good results. And I should do so because I want to be a better Christian. More than that, if I become less and less angry on the road, I will also become less angry in other areas of my life. If I become more patient with this child, I will become more patient with other people as well. If I find ways to improve my prayer life, I also improve my relationship with Jesus, who will surely help me in my efforts to be less angry, more patient and to live a better and fuller life.
Big, great efforts to improve our Christian lives are fine, but so often they do not last long because they are too great to sustain. Smaller but constant, intentional working on our lives and our souls is usually the way we will grow and increase in our faith. As we see today in the Gospel, Peter wanted to come to Jesus by walking on the water. Big, bold move! Now if he had done just the normal, regular thing because his goal was to get to Jesus, rather than wanting to walk on water if he had only jumped in the water to swim, he probably would have made it to Jesus. And who knows—maybe by the time he got close he would have been walking on the water. If we work on coming closer to Jesus in small but regular ways, we can come closer to Him without a fear of drowning.