Homily

In today’s letter to the parish in Ephesus, St. Paul writes “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

One day last week while driving around to do some errands I found myself getting irritated. I was irritated by the people who decided that MLK needed a “Bus Only” lane and a 30 mile per hour speed limit. I was irritated by the people who chose to obey the 30 mile per hour speed limit but go even further than that by keeping to 25 miles per hour, with no way to get past them (unless you are a bus). I was irritated by the awful driving practices of a number of my fellow citizens who should have their licenses revoked on the grounds of incompetence. I also thought of a couple of people who weren’t even on the road but were still irritating me. (Don’t worry it wasn’t any of you.) And then, finally, I was irritated that I was so irritated. Did I have to be? Was it necessary? I think not. But it is so very easy to allow myself to see other people as obstacles to my peace, my goals, my desires, my happiness.

Allowing myself to be frustrated for the 100th time, by the poor fools who redesigned a road does not help my state of mind nor my peace, and perhaps it would be wiser to turn my mind to better things than to dwell on what cannot be changed. To be a keen observer of the faults of other drivers, and sometimes commenting on their lack of skills, might be more acceptable if I never did what they do. The negative thoughts that fill my head are not helping them at all, and they certainly are not helping me. So why allow it? It is so very easy to be frustrated by other people who do not act the way I would like them to, and who appear to be standing in the way of my peace and happiness. There is a way of thinking and reacting that can come over us so quickly and so thoughtlessly, and sometimes it sticks with us like gum on the bottom of our shoe.

But it’s not just about being on the road. St. Paul is writing to the Ephesians primarily about how they treat one another in the church when he says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” But I am sure his admonition is not only for practice in the church, but for practice everywhere, even at home. Where is that perfect husband, that unquestionable wife, those faultless children, those unerring parents? They must be somewhere else, because they are not living with me. And there are plenty of people walking the earth who are even more frustrating than those at home.

Now I do not mean to say that frustration and being irritated by other people is always bad behavior on our part. There are times when it is perfectly justified and natural to be frustrated. Even Jesus was irritated by other people sometimes. He told the Syro-Phoenician woman that it was not right to give the children’s bread to the dogs. He told Peter to “Get behind me, Satan.” He told the Pharisees they were blind guides, hypocrites and murderers. And I don’t think he said those things in a calm and passionless voice. He was frustrated. And it is only proper that sometimes we will be frustrated and disturbed by the thoughtless actions of others, or by the evil that others do, and sometimes also frustrated and disturbed by our own failings, and our own sinfulness. So being irritated by others, or even irritating ourselves, is not always wrong.

But it seems to me that a fair amount of the frustration other people cause me is more because of my own self-centeredness, and my own viewpoint, and my own weaknesses. When someone says or does something I don’t like 99 times, maybe, just maybe, I could keep my internal peace when they do it for the 100th time. And why not? Maybe if I caught myself more quickly when I start to criticize other people in my thoughts, I could turn those thoughts into something more productive. Maybe if I reminded myself more often that I also have faults and I also sin, it would be easier to let other people off the hook. Maybe if I struggled intentionally to be more patient it would curb the impatience I can have with other people. Maybe if I focused more on how to live in genuine peace with family, friends and humanity in general, some of my criticisms, objections and complaints could be laid aside. Maybe if I prayed for those who bother me I would find myself less bothered by them. Maybe if I focused more on genuinely praising, thanking and consoling people in my daily life I would find less reason to complain about them.

Christian love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is willing the good and working for the good of our neighbor. We are called by Christ to live in this love, as St. Paul urged the Ephesians to do. Here again, he writes, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” With God’s grace we can and we will live lives more worthy of Christ’s love for us. Let’s keep on with that good intention.