Homily

I was driving home Friday night and a car pulled out of a driveway right in front of me. I almost had slam on my brakes. A few minutes later the same thing happened again. Both times I looked in the rearview mirror and there was absolutely no one behind me. But those drivers just couldn't wait for even one car to pass before they pulled out.

Dictionary says that patience is “the ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” And of course, the lack of patience is called impatience. Impatience is the oldest child of the sin of pride. We can suffer from impatience in many different ways. For example, we can lack patience when dealing with things. I set the microwave for 4 minutes, but at 3 minutes and 45 seconds I am checking to see if the food is ready. I set it for 4 minutes; why can't I wait for 4 minutes?

We can be impatient with situations. Waiting to see your doctor for your 3:00 appointment and it’s now 4:00. We can be impatient with people that we don't know. Why can't they see that the light has turned green? What is taking so long with this check-out line at the store?

And then there is the lack of patience for the people that we do know, and impatience here is sometimes the most difficult to conquer and overcome because the people that we see and know, and the people that we live with, work with, spend time with; these people are more important to us than someone at the grocery store or driving in a car. Strangely enough, it might seem that we should have the most patience with these people, but often the opposite is true: they are the group of people with which we frequently have the most trouble with in accepting or tolerating delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset, as the dictionary says.

So many times, we want other people to think like we think, do like we do, want what we want, like what we like, hate what we hate, and follow the same times and schedules that we do. Why can't they just get in line? Why can't they just be on time? Why can't they see that this is ridiculous, wrong, and stupid? Why can't they see that this is the best way to go, the smartest choice, the reasonable move? Why can't they see the world the way I see it, which is obviously the correct and proper way? Why are they making my life miserable and getting in the way of my happiness and peace? How can a person have patience with them?

That's a good question. Because many times we don't.

Over the years, I think I have become a little more patient. And that may be because I have, from time to time, realized that my impatience has never helped me in any real way. Instead, so many times it caused me stress, frustration, even anger—and I stopped to wonder was that really necessary? Were those other people, those situations, those things, forcing me to be impatient, or was it simply that I lacked sufficient patience to deal with them and to see the situation, and to see the other people in a different way that was not centered on my needs, my desires, my sense of time and importance. It seems that impatience usually comes because of my self-centeredness and an unhappy understanding of my own place in this world. Other things and other people do not really cause my impatience. I generate that all on my own.

“Give me what I want—think like I think—do as I do—understand the world as I understand it and get in line—except don't get ahead of me in line because I am in a hurry.” It all screams me, me, me, me, and me.

I have come to think also that some of our impatience is because we sometimes live in our own world rather than in God's world and we would like everything and everyone to be and act as we think they should, as if we had the knowledge and wisdom of Christ.

And I think also that sometimes we believe that other people are ruining, damaging, using up our time, which, of course, is precious beyond measure. But too often I live in the delusion that time belongs to me. But it isn’t true. I am living in God’s time. I have the time God has given to me as a gift, and I can use that time for good or for bad, but it is not my own time. I was not born into time because I desired it and the time that I am using right now is only a gift. How good it would be if I could always realize that and understand that our existence will last for eternity, not just a few more years in this world. What then should it matter that someone got that parking spot before me? How much should it matter that you will not agree with me on this issue? It may indeed be important, but how important is it really in the face of eternity? And maybe, just maybe, if I am patient with you, you will come to see my point and agree with me. But surely my impatience with you will almost never achieve that goal.

Patience is the great helper to create and keep peace between people. It is also the great helper to keeping peace within myself. But patience does not simply come to us. We need to ask for it, value it and practice it intentionally. To catch ourselves when we are getting irritated, and just try to let peace come enter in. Patience is a genuine fruit of the Holy Spirit. Let us ask God the Holy Spirit to increase patience in our lives and really strive to practice it this week, so that next Sunday, All Saints Day, we will have a little bit more established the reason why somebody should start painting our icons.